Rho Shaw, Grade 12 Class of 1986, 2016.

She has not been a part of any Filipino community associations for the last fifteen years. Even though Shaw continues to believe in the values and old traditions that she learned growing up in the Philippines, she now feels that she is forgetting most of them. This realization disturbed her. Was she forgetting who she was? Was she becoming more westernized? Is that wrong? Incessant feelings of uncertainty are the driving forces behind Shaw’s art and she seeks to express them through the integration of photography and installation.

“Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t eat noodles, but it’s really, really hard”—these are the words spoken by her ‘identity crisis,’ says Shaw. According to the artist, the incorporation of rice wrapper, seaweed and noodles in her portraitures illustrate her feelings of ambivalence and guilt.

As an immigrant, Shaw says that learning English is a must and was a challenge that she eventually came to enjoy. She now sees it as a tool in her art, one that acts as a means to stimulate discourse. She uses simple words to highlight the chasm between her two worlds. “We No Rice” is a red neon installation evocative of restaurant signage. The play on words is Shaw’s way of confronting her family’s fidelity to their culture. They are Filipino, yet Shaw sees them exhibiting a more Canadian way of life. The blue neon “over dare we can dream” is an acknowledgement of the sacrifices and hardships she and her family have endured—it does, however, also signify hope. With this piece Shaw speaks specifically about her parents’ sacrifice. They left their careers and the home they built in order to give their children a better future in Canada. Shaw uses the medium of neon because she finds the result dynamic and fragile—this creates desire and emotion very much like human connections. ● This story was originally published in the inaugural issue of Ruminate Magazine in October 2017. Buy this issue.